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FIFTEEN THINGS YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR ON THE EBON HAWK: KotOR 2

1.  "Statement: I love you, Master!"

2.  "Aww, man, Disciple's hogging the 'fresher again, and I really have to go!"

3.  "Uhh, guys?  I think Kreia's menopausal..."

4.  "Hmm... Wonder what this button does?"

5.  "Anybody notice that nobody's flying this ship?!"

6.  "Hey, Atton, where's the Exile?  And while we're at it, where the heck are your pants?!"

7.  "Umm... Bao-Dur's arm just short-circuited.  There won't be any power in the ship for a week."

8.  "Hey all?  I think T3 just blew up..."

9.  "Uh, Atton?  That's a supernova.  Might want to steer clear of it..."  "Ohh, pwetty..." *ship explodes*

10.  "Hey, guess what!  Kreia's drunk!"

11.  (something falls off the side of the ship with a loud crash)  "What was that?"

12.  "Tell me that wasn't a pair of gizka I saw in the cargo hold..."

13.  "Hey, Atton, whatcha watchin'?"  "Uhh, me?  Nothin'..."  "Yes, you were!  Gimme that holovid.  Aha!  You were watching... BARNEY?!"

14.  Exile (rummaging through the galley):  "Twinkies, Twinkies, where are my—*GASP!*  SOMEONE ATE MY TWINKIE!!"  

15.  (After a night of hard partying in a local cantina and "messing around" with the local young men.)  Kreia:  "I feel 60 again!"
15 Things for KotOR 2. Yes, I bashed Kreia three times. Shoot me if you must, but please, have a laugh first!

EDIT: Changed #11.


KotOR = LucasArts + BioWare and/or Obsidian (Obsidian in this case since it's K2.)
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:iconelwinransom:
ElwinRansom Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
i don't know I kinda want to hear number 14
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:iconkotor-mstr:
KotOR-MSTR Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Yes, second comment: but I cannot help but say that for HK saying that he loves his master; it took me nearly a YEAR to figure that out!
Reply
:iconxrunningwithscissors:
xRunningWithScissors Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2014  Student General Artist
Ohhh my god - this is the funniest K2 thing I have read so far! :XD:
I love the 'Kreia's drunk'. That would be very interesting...
Nice job!
Reply
:iconkotor-mstr:
KotOR-MSTR Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAGAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!rofl 
I can't get enough of this stuff!!!!! I was laughing SOOOOOOO hard @ #13!!!! I wound up rolling off the bed and having my mom running up and asking what was wroung!!! I told her 'Atton is watching Barney!!!!' And she just gives me... 'the look' and left me alone!! Write more like this!!!
Reply
:iconstorm-de-up:
Storm-DE-UP Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2013
@2

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

XD
Reply
:iconstrongdinopower:
strongdinopower Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013
I pissed my pants when i read #8
Reply
:iconblackphoenix64:
blackphoenix64 Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2011
Ah, yes, #11. When I read it, I heard Mal(from Firefly/Serenity, if anybody didn't catch on) and Atton say it at the same time. And it wasn't entirely unpleasent. Which leads me to wonder about the chaos that could ensue if the two ever actually met...
Reply
:icontatooine92:
Tatooine92 Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2011  Student Writer
That... would be very, very awesome.
Reply
:iconblackphoenix64:
blackphoenix64 Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2011
Yes. Yes, it would. :D
Reply
:iconally014:
ally014 Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
14 is my favorite. xDDDD
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:icontatooine92:
Tatooine92 Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2010  Student Writer
:XD: Thanks.
Reply
:iconbluesweettea:
BlueSweetTea Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2008
I don't even play the game and I thought these were funny...though I was confused. lol. The twinkies one KILLED me.
Reply
:icontatooine92:
Tatooine92 Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2008  Student Writer
:giggle: At least you found them funny!
Reply
:iconbluesweettea:
BlueSweetTea Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2008
Lol, yes, I did.
Reply
:iconmarstorm:
Marstorm Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2008
Aww, HK, that's so sweeMY KNEEEEEES!
Reply
:icontatooine92:
Tatooine92 Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2008  Student Writer
:rofl:
Reply
:iconspiritofnature:
SpiritOfNature Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
You are awsome, that's so priceless xD
Reply
:icontatooine92:
Tatooine92 Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2008  Student Writer
:XD: Thanks.
Reply
:iconakitrel:
akitrel Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2008
you have to make more there so funny :lmao: XD
Reply
:icontatooine92:
Tatooine92 Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2008  Student Writer
:giggle: Thanks.
Reply
:iconvinralfakyn25:
VinrAlfakyn25 Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2008  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
LOL Hilarious!!
Reply
:icontatooine92:
Tatooine92 Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2008  Student Writer
:giggle: Thanks!
Reply
:icondragonart88:
DragonArt88 Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
LMAO fantastic :P
Reply
:icontatooine92:
Tatooine92 Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2008  Student Writer
:XD: Thanks.
Reply
:icondragonart88:
DragonArt88 Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
:P
Reply
:iconvrryoko:
VrRyoko Featured By Owner May 9, 2008  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Oh god! XD I can't help but love all of these! They're just so, so.. PERFECT.

AHAHA. :heart: Please, I want s'more!
Reply
:icontatooine92:
Tatooine92 Featured By Owner May 9, 2008  Student Writer
:giggle: Well, if I ever think of more, they'll be here! :D Glad you like!
Reply
:iconvrryoko:
VrRyoko Featured By Owner May 10, 2008  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I do! XD And yay!
Reply
:icontatooine92:
Tatooine92 Featured By Owner May 10, 2008  Student Writer
:D
Reply
:iconvrryoko:
VrRyoko Featured By Owner May 11, 2008  Hobbyist Digital Artist
:sushi:
Reply
:iconhaloguru:
haloguru Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2008
That was really funny! i play kotor alot, 1 and 2, and these were hilarious! what was the original #11?
Reply
:icontatooine92:
Tatooine92 Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2008  Student Writer
Y'know, I don't really remember. :XD: But thanks!
Reply
:iconhopewec:
Hopewec Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2008
those were great... #11 reminds me of Serenity and Firefly... and it fits
Reply
:icontatooine92:
Tatooine92 Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2008  Student Writer
:XD: You seem to be the only one who realized it WAS a Serenity shout-out! :highfive: Yep, it's the last line in the movie if I recall correctly. :D Glad you enjoyed this!
Reply
:iconhopewec:
Hopewec Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2008
wasn't it also the first line?
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:icontatooine92:
Tatooine92 Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2008  Student Writer
I think so, yes.
Reply
:iconphantom-jaselin:
Phantom-Jaselin Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2008  Student Traditional Artist
Lol, this was very funny. I loved the Firefly crack on number eleven.
Reply
:icontatooine92:
Tatooine92 Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2008  Student Writer
:D Thanks! I was wondering if anybody would notice that. :XD:
Reply
:iconnemonus:
Nemonus Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2008
lol! Personally I think the first one can't be beat. It's scary...:)
Reply
:icontatooine92:
Tatooine92 Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2008  Student Writer
It is... Especially because "Love is making a shot to the knees of a target 120 kilometers away using an Aratech sniper rifle with a tri-light scope." Yes, I did memorize that. Yes, I am pathetic. :XD:
Reply
:iconnemonus:
Nemonus Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2008
I can't be counted any less pathetic--I used that quote to begin a 30,000+ word fanfic. :)
Reply
:icontatooine92:
Tatooine92 Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2008  Student Writer
:D
Reply
:iconlycaniclordess:
Lycaniclordess Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2008
Kreia bashing is awesome.
So are twinkies.
:3
Reply
:icontatooine92:
Tatooine92 Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2008  Student Writer
Amen to that! :highfive:
Reply
:icondanitiwa:
danitiwa Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2007  Hobbyist General Artist
15 is pure gold, man. :rofl:
Reply
:icontatooine92:
Tatooine92 Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2008  Student Writer
:lmao: Thank you. :bow:
Reply
:iconbtisaac:
BTIsaac Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2007
Just one little remark. Kreia IS 60.
Reply
:icontatooine92:
Tatooine92 Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2008  Student Writer
It seemed to me she was twice that... There's one rumor going around that she's as old as the Force. Now THAT is scary.
Reply
:iconshadowpaintedwhite:
shadowpaintedwhite Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2007
AHAHA OMG :rofl:
I love the ones with Atton and Kreia! For example, "I feel 60 again!" , "where are your pants?" :laughing:
Reply
:icontatooine92:
Tatooine92 Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2007  Student Writer
:rofl: Glad you enjoyed it! :D
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